30 thoughts you have when writing your first book
1. Right, I have my idea. I have a fresh notebook and a Word doc open. I have a mug of coffee. I have some free time. *cracks fingers* Now is the time for the LITERARY MAGIC to happen.
2. I’ve been refreshing Twitter for an hour, for Pete’s sake.
3. Okay, chapter one. First sentence. One down… thousands to go.
4. Wait, that first sentence is terrible, deletedeletedelete.
5. Wordcount: 0. Hours passed: many.
7. This is really fucking hard.
8. Okay, it’s a new day. Time to get going.
9. Yes! Three pages written!
10. Oh wait, no, this is all wrong. Let’s delete the last two pages.
11. This idea I have five seconds ago is much better than the shit I’m writing now.
12. Wait, no, it isn’t. Back to the first idea.
13. Fuck it, I don’t even care how good this is. Whatever crappy words I can type will do.
14. *months flip by on a calendar as if ripped away by an invisible hand*
15. WHY HAVEN’T I FINISHED THIS BOOK YET I AM HONESTLY THE WORLD’S WORST WRITER.
16. Oh, I seem to have written the entire thing. ‘The End’.
17. Ah, that feels good. Brief pause while I sip my beverage of choice in sheer contentment.
18. I have finished. I am part of the elite club of People Who Have Written a Novel. I’m one of them. I am a writer.
19. No, scrap that: I am the greatest writer in the world. Let’s just confirm that with a re-read.
20. Oh… oh no… oh, this is awful.
21. EDIT EDIT EDIT EDIT EDIT.
22. *months flip by on the haunted calendar*
23. Oh thank fuck that’s finished.
24. Betas and critique partners have spotted unforgivable plot hole. Bollocks.
25. Sigh. I suppose it’s time for MORE EDITS.
26. *months flip by on the haunted calendar as it hovers outside your bedroom window, watching you sleep*
27. Right, it’s either finished or I’m sick to the back teeth of it. I’m going to go with finished. Hooray. Done.
28. While it’s out for querying/waiting for people to buy it online, why don’t I have a bash at that other idea I had a few months ago…
29. Right, I have my idea. I have a fresh notebook and a Word doc open. I have a mug of coffee. I have some free time. *cracks fingers* Now is the time for the LITERARY MAGIC to happen.
30. Oh Twitter, you seductive beast. How could I ever stay away?